Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend
Conan body shames George Washington.
Episode Summary
AI-generated · Mar 2026AI-generated summary — may contain inaccuracies. Not a substitute for the full episode or professional advice.
Conan O'Brien opens the episode with an unexpected observation about America's first president, George Washington. He humorously asserts that Washington was "kind of wide in the hips" and a "pear-shaped guy," expressing mock regret for "body shaming our first president."
O'Brien grounds his claim in historical accounts, noting that while no photographs exist, portraits by artists like Gilbert Stewart and CPPley provide visual context. He specifically cites historian Cory Doll as a key source, mentioning that Doll "really pointed it out in one of his books." O'Brien characterizes Doll as having "axes to grind" and a tendency to "take down" founders, portraying Washington as "humorless" and explicitly detailing his "wide hips and his big butt."
This brief, comedic interlude showcases O'Brien's signature style of blending historical trivia with self-aware, irreverent humor, justifying his remarks by stating, "Those are just things I needed to get out there." Listeners will encounter O'Brien's unique perspective on historical figures, filtered through a lens of modern, uninhibited commentary.
👤 Who Should Listen
- Fans of Conan O'Brien's comedic style and personal anecdotes
- Listeners who enjoy humorous takes on historical figures
- Anyone interested in quirky or lesser-known details about American history
- People looking for lighthearted, observational comedy
🔑 Key Takeaways
- 1.Conan O'Brien humorously observes that George Washington was "kind of wide in the hips" and a "pear-shaped guy."
- 2.O'Brien acknowledges the act as "body shaming our first president" but justifies sharing the observation.
- 3.Historical portraits by artists like Gilbert Stewart and CPPley are mentioned as visual sources for Washington's physique.
- 4.Historian Cory Doll is cited as a source who describes Washington as "humorless" and goes "out of his way to talk about his wide hips and his big butt" in one of his books.
- 5.O'Brien characterizes Cory Doll as a historian with "axes to grind" who aims to "take down" founders.
⏱ Timeline Breakdown
💬 Notable Quotes
“He was kind of wide in the hips, wasn't he? Kind of a kind of a pear-shaped guy.”
“I hate to body shame our first president.”
“He really he portrays Washington as humorless and goes out of his way to talk about his wide hips and his big butt.”
“Those are just things I needed to get out there.”
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