Darknet Diaries
They Hired Me to Steal a Shopping Cart Full of Human DNA Darknet Diaries Ep. 160: Greg

Episode Summary
AI-generated · Mar 2026AI-generated summary — may contain inaccuracies. Not a substitute for the full episode or professional advice.
Greg Linares, known professionally as Laughing Mantis, is a highly unconventional and resilient cybersecurity expert whose journey began with a childhood steeped in self-taught hacking, leading to an early arrest for a high school macro virus. This episode of Darknet Diaries chronicles Linares's remarkable transformation from a 'goth kid' challenging norms and systems to a top-tier penetration tester, highlighting the ingenuity and audacious tactics required to expose critical vulnerabilities in major organizations. Host Jack Rhysider explores how Linares's early experiences shaped his unique approach to cybersecurity, where technical prowess is often augmented by social engineering and a keen understanding of human behavior.
👤 Who Should Listen
- Aspiring cybersecurity professionals and penetration testers curious about unconventional career paths and real-world hacking tactics.
- Red team leaders and security managers seeking creative approaches to vulnerability discovery and comprehensive security assessments.
- Executives and board members in organizations handling highly sensitive data, such as genetics or financial information, who need to understand advanced physical and digital threats.
- Individuals fascinated by the human element of hacking, social engineering, and stories of overcoming adversity in the tech world.
- Anyone interested in the evolution of cybersecurity and the unconfirmed, yet plausible, anecdotes of corporate espionage.
- Managers looking to build high-performing security teams who may consider unconventional talent that prioritizes results over traditional qualifications or appearances.
🔑 Key Takeaways
- 1.Greg Linares was arrested at 14 for creating a macro virus in Excel that changed his grades and attendance in high school, making him the youngest person in Arizona arrested for a computer crime [13:42, 16:54].
- 2.While at cybersecurity company eEye, Linares initially found a 'zero-day' in Microsoft Office 2007 that only triggered with a debugger attached, nearly costing him his job due to company embarrassment after a press release [39:53, 40:58].
- 3.To save his career and the company's reputation, Linares and his eEye team worked for three consecutive days to find a legitimate zero-day vulnerability, eventually succeeding with an exploit in Office Visio [43:07, 46:16].
- 4.During a challenging red team engagement, Linares and his coworker, on the verge of failure, used ARP poisoning to sniff a plain text credential for a build system, allowing them to roll out code to production that marked customer credit card data as '*stolen last four digits*' [62:08, 63:13].
- 5.Tasked with exfiltrating DNA data, Linares used a hollowed-out printer and a shopping cart full of hard drives purchased from Best Buy to covertly remove petabytes of sensitive genetic information from a client's facility over several days [68:09, 70:42].
- 6.In a physical penetration test against a venture capital firm, Linares gained entry by climbing a tree to a balcony, prying open a security door, using a cloned badge, and disarming an alarm with a stolen code from an employee's onboarding email [88:22, 89:27].
- 7.To maximize the impact of his physical intrusion, Linares hacked Axis security cameras to black them out and left 'I stole this' sticky notes on the CEO's valuable paintings, demonstrating complete compromise and eliciting a furious but impressed response from the CEO [84:14, 90:54, 93:41].
- 8.Throughout his career, Linares has maintained his distinct goth appearance and refusal to adhere to dress codes or traditional educational paths, believing his skills and results speak for themselves, often leading to recurring engagements or full-time employment with clients he successfully 'hacks' [73:55, 95:50].
💡 Key Concepts Explained
Macro Virus
A type of computer virus written in a macro language, typically for office applications like Microsoft Excel or Word. Greg created one in high school to automatically alter his grades and attendance, demonstrating how seemingly innocuous features can be weaponized for malicious purposes [13:42].
Fuzzing
A software testing technique that involves inputting large amounts of semi-random or malformed data into a program to expose vulnerabilities and cause crashes. Greg describes manually fuzzing Microsoft Word with a hex editor to identify unexpected behaviors and potential zero-day exploits [31:53].
Zero-Day Vulnerability
A software flaw unknown to the vendor, meaning there are 'zero days' for a patch to exist. Finding these is a high-stakes endeavor for security researchers like Greg, as they represent novel threats that can be exploited before defenses are in place [29:29].
Boot-Root
A technique to gain elevated (root) access to a system by booting it from an external device (e.g., USB drive) and replacing a system component, such as Sticky Keys, with a command shell. Greg used this method to compromise servers during a physical pen test [89:27].
ARP Poisoning (Layer 2 Attack)
A network attack where an attacker sends fake Address Resolution Protocol (ARP) messages over a local area network, linking the attacker's MAC address with the IP address of a legitimate device. Greg successfully employed this to steal crucial credentials during a red team engagement, highlighting the effectiveness of foundational network exploits [62:08, 80:11].
⚡ Actionable Takeaways
- →Master fundamental Layer 2 network attacks, such as ARP poisoning and DHCP spoofing, as Greg emphasizes their continued effectiveness in uncovering vulnerabilities in modern environments [80:11].
- →Implement stringent access controls and unique, strong passwords for network infrastructure like routers, as default or easily brute-forced credentials can compromise entire networks [79:07].
- →Conduct comprehensive physical security assessments that include simulating insider threats and external intrusions, as digital defenses can be bypassed by creative physical attacks [57:48, 88:22].
- →Regularly audit and update firmware for all network-connected devices, especially security cameras, to patch known vulnerabilities like buffer overflows and prevent easy exploitation [84:14].
- →Enhance employee onboarding security protocols to ensure sensitive information like alarm codes, badge IDs, and network credentials are not easily discoverable through email or unsecured internal documentation [80:11, 81:13].
- →Educate staff on social engineering tactics and the importance of secure practices, as seemingly innocuous information (like a Wi-Fi password on a whiteboard) can provide crucial footholds for attackers [77:00].
- →Invest in advanced security monitoring and incident response capabilities that can detect and react swiftly to both digital intrusions and physical security breaches, even if cameras are tampered with [61:02, 84:14, 92:36].
⏱ Timeline Breakdown
💬 Notable Quotes
“The best part about targeting pedophiles is I think it’s the only case that you can say I gave malware to someone and they're absolutely not gonna report you to the police, because what are they gonna say? I was trying to pick up this kid and they sent me a jpeg.exe to them?”
“So, I go through — I have a shopping cart, and I just go from the end line of these and just pull the whole thing into the shopping cart. I have a full shopping cart of hard drives.”
“I remember I’m bringing back the printer, and the front desk person was like, wait, you sent that off to be fixed yesterday. I was like, yeah. He was like, you gotta tell me how you got those guys to fix that in twenty-four hours because, man, they are always so slow. I was like, oh shit. Well, I bought them a root beer.”
“I will never code in Ruby. Fuck Ruby. Clause number two; I’ll never adhere to a dress code, period. Those don’t — if those two don’t happen, I don't work there, period.”
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Greg Linares
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