Topic Guide
What Is Nonverbal communication?
Nonverbal communication is a subject covered in depth across 3 podcast episodes in our database. Below you'll find key concepts, expert insights, and the top episodes to listen to — all distilled from hours of conversation by leading experts.
Key Concepts in Nonverbal communication
Alpha handshake
A specific type of aggressively firm handshake used by individuals to assert dominance or project an 'alpha male' persona. The episode uses this as a prime example of a social script that can be openly addressed.
Social scripts
Unspoken, often subconscious, behavioral patterns or expectations that guide social interactions. The episode argues that identifying and surfacing these scripts can diminish their power and increase one's own control over a situation.
Calling out the quiet part out loud
A communication strategy where one directly verbalizes the unspoken intention or hidden script behind another person's behavior. This act aims to disarm the individual, lessen the script's power, and increase awareness for both parties.
Smising (authentic smile cues)
Smising refers to the phenomenon where a genuine smile involves not just the mouth, but also the eyes. This concept highlights that when a person is truly happy, their cheeks pop up and push against the skin under their eyes, creating 'smile bags,' a key indicator of emotional authenticity.
Never win an argument
A communication philosophy suggesting that always seeking to 'win' an argument ultimately leads to losing more valuable assets, such as relationships, respect, approachability, and quality of reputation (Fischer, 03:57). Instead, the focus should be on understanding and advocacy.
Water off a duck's back
A tactic for disengaging from dominant or combative communicators. Instead of directly pushing back or competing, simply acknowledge their statements with short, neutral phrases like 'Okay, noted' or 'I got it,' preventing escalation (Fischer, 06:10).
What Experts Say About Nonverbal communication
- 1.Openly calling out subtle social scripts, like an overly aggressive handshake, can disarm the person attempting to assert dominance.
- 2.Surfacing an unconscious 'social script' lessens its power in a situation, giving the person who calls it out more control.
- 3.Making both parties aware of a hidden script temporarily breaks the other person's intention, such as a 'desire to be the alpha male.'
- 4.Any script that is pushed down and left unaddressed will hold more power over individuals and interactions.
- 5.The strategy of 'saying the quiet part out loud' is presented as a tool for increasing awareness rather than a direct confrontational tactic.
- 6.A true smile, often called "smising," is characterized by engagement around the eyes, not just the mouth.