Topic Guide
What Is Family systems?
Family systems is a subject covered in depth across 1 podcast episode in our database. Below you'll find key concepts, expert insights, and the top episodes to listen to — all distilled from hours of conversation by leading experts.
Key Concepts in Family systems
Injecting joy
Abby Wambach's therapeutic practice of deliberately bringing moments of joy and play into anxious or stressful situations. This method helps her shift focus from future-based anxiety to present reality, preventing internal anxiety from taking root (01:01, 04:02).
Defensive driving personality
Amanda Doyle's self-identification, characterized by a constant anticipation of potential problems and a need to create order and protection. This approach, stemming from a perceived untrustworthy world, led her to develop mechanisms like detailed contracts even as a child (17:16, 18:17).
Voyager / experiential human
Abby Wambach's inner child archetype, driven by a deep desire to fully experience and explore life, often with a loud, confident, and sometimes "obnoxious" belief in possibilities before they materialize. This spirit fueled her pursuit of ambitious dreams (32:36, 40:47, 41:49).
Scuba diving vs. moving the boat
Abby Wambach's framework for approaching adventure and fulfillment. "Moving the boat" signifies constantly seeking new external destinations for joy, while "scuba diving" represents mining deeper into current experiences and relationships for joy and meaning (47:53).
Disagreement as two different ways of thinking, agreement as compromise
A concept articulated by Glennon Doyle in her third-grade poem. It redefines conflict as a difference in thought processes rather than fundamental opposition, and agreement as a mutual compromise that respects individual worldviews (57:05).
What Experts Say About Family systems
- 1.Abby Wambach counteracts anxiety by "injecting joy" and play into stressful moments, shifting focus from future worries to present experiences (01:01, 04:02).
- 2.Amanda Doyle's inner child is characterized as a "defensive driver," stemming from an early need to create structure and protection against perceived untrustworthiness (17:16).
- 3.As a child, Amanda drafted a contract with 10% interest and collateral for a $7 loan, demonstrating a precocious analytical and protective nature (10:10).
- 4.Abby Wambach's "voyager" inner child drove her to confidently dream of achievements, like an Olympic gold medal, even before they were institutionally possible (40:47).
- 5.Glennon Doyle's third-grade poem defined "a disagreement as two different ways of thinking" and "an agreement as a compromise," revealing her childhood approach to conflict (57:05).
- 6.The panel explores the tension between pursuing new experiences ("moving the boat") and deepening appreciation for current reality ("scuba diving") (47:53).
Top Episodes to Learn About Family systems
We Can Do Hard Things