Topic Guide
What Is Boundaries?
Boundaries is a subject covered in depth across 3 podcast episodes in our database. Below you'll find key concepts, expert insights, and the top episodes to listen to — all distilled from hours of conversation by leading experts.
Key Concepts in Boundaries
Embodiment
Initially pursued through video to foster a greater sense of presence, Glennon Doyle ultimately discovered that she feels "most embodied when you are not hyper aware of the way you will be visually received." The episode redefines embodiment not as physical presence, but as a state of authentic self-awareness unhindered by external judgment.
Double consciousness
This concept describes the distracting mental state of being aware of one's appearance and how one is being perceived while trying to engage in conversation. Glennon Doyle argues that video podcasting fosters this "double consciousness," especially for women, detracting from genuine engagement and vulnerability for both hosts and guests.
Rerouting
Presented as an alternative to 'failure,' 'rerouting' is the act of deliberately changing course when an initial path or decision isn't serving its intended purpose or one's well-being. The episode positions it as a brave and necessary act of self-protection and a commitment to doing one's best work, rather than suffering through suboptimal conditions.
Six types of narcissists
Dr. Ramani Durvasula breaks down narcissism into six distinct categories: Grandiose, Vulnerable, Malignant, Communal, Self-righteous, and Neglectful. This framework helps identify the diverse and often unexpected ways narcissistic dynamics can manifest, beyond the typical "loud ego" [01:01].
Danger zone cues
Vanessa Van Edwards identifies non-verbal behaviors that are hard to inhibit when someone is being dishonest or manipulative. These "leak" cues include lip purses, sudden distancing behavior, and high blink rates, helping listeners spot inauthentic intentions [10:11].
Covert narcissism
Esther Perel describes this less-talked-about form of narcissism where power is exerted through victimization, passive aggression, and making others feel guilty. It contrasts with overt narcissism by controlling people "from underneath" rather than through domineering behavior [31:28].
What Experts Say About Boundaries
- 1.The "We Can Do Hard Things" podcast is discontinuing its video format on YouTube and returning to audio-only episodes on traditional podcast platforms.
- 2.Glennon Doyle found the video medium detrimental to her personal well-being, feeling like she sent an "avatar" of herself "undefended" into the world.
- 3.The video format created a "double consciousness" for Glennon and guests, particularly women, as the awareness of visual appearance hindered authentic conversation and vulnerability.
- 4.The co-hosts support the decision, stating that the podcast's ultimate goal is "intimacy and vulnerability of the conversations," which is best achieved through audio for Glennon.
- 5.The shift is presented not as a failure but as a necessary "rerouting" to the "best lane" where Glennon and the team can do their most authentic work.
- 6.Listeners are encouraged to apply this principle to their own lives, giving themselves permission to change course if something isn't working, even if it feels "silly" after an initial commitment.